Overcome Your Fear of Commitment

Fewer people than ever are getting married. It’s believed that 25% of millennials will never
marry during their lifetimes. The fear of commitment has never been more pervasive.
Relationships can be a big risk, both emotionally and financially.
Humans are driven by fears, but many fears are irrational and paralyzing. It’s possible that your
judgment is clouded and you’re allowing an illogical fear to steal from your future and your
happiness.

Address your fear of commitment and enjoy a successful relationship:

• • 1. A life lived with calculated risks is much more rewarding. Avoiding or magnifying every
    possible risk isn’t an enjoyable way to live. Live a life that’s moving toward something rather
    than avoiding something. That doesn’t mean you should marry the first attractive, funny person. Relationships are never
    guaranteed, but you have the opportunity to connect with your values and design a relationship
    that supports each other's growth, strengths, and dream

• • 2. Avoid being in a rush. Take your time dating someone new and move along at your own
    pace. If the other person seems to be in a hurry to make things serious, this may be a red flag to
    pay attention to. Desperate partners are rarely good relationship material.

• • 3. Determine the cause of your fear. Understanding the origin of the fear will help you to
    navigate your relationships. Understand your fear and you can address it. There are many
    reasons for fearing commitment:

The fear of another relationship failure. The past doesn’t have to equal the future. Determine
why the last relationship failed – it might be easy to blame your ex, but look within and consider
how you may have contributed to your own experience. Create a strategy to minimize the
likelihood of a reoccurrence.
· Do you fear being vulnerable? Allowing someone to really know you can be scary. Casual
dating is easy. Neither of you has anything invested. If it doesn’t work out, who cares? The other
person didn’t really know you anyway – which can buffer the feelings of rejection but also robs
you of the experience of genuine acceptance.
· There’s a risk with any venture. Allowing others to see the real you is the best way to find the
best partner. Remember that you don’t have to appeal to everyone, just that one person that
would be a great match. Be yourself.

4. Consider the positive. You may be so consumed with what could go wrong takes you out of
being present and robs you from fully experiencing connection and the advantages that can come
with being a in a committed relationship. Envision what your life would be like with the right
person. Give yourself a positive mental image of a healthy relationship.

Many people fear commitment due to the perception that a relationship is confining, limiting,
and reduces freedom. However, the right relationship provides just the opposite. Consider how
mutual love and support can enhance experiences and help increase confidence. This leads to
new adventures and opportunities.

Many people fear relationships, but allowing a fear of commitment to rule your decisions is a
mistake. Relationships can be one of the most rewarding parts of life. Allow your life to be
guided by your hopes and dreams…not your fears.

Author - CoupleStrong Collaborator, Paula Gurnett, MA, Canadian Certified Counsellor., with Stir Psychology - (587)-337-0059